Thursday, August 7, 2014

The Sterling Difference

Recently, a NBA team owner was caught, as in secretly taped, spewing feelings and opinions about “black people” that most reasonable and modern people would disagree with, to say the least.

But, say the least, the people did not. Everyone from Magic Johnson (whom this 80-year-old curmudgeon was referring to in this rant to his twenty-something assistant/girlfriend/defendant-in-an-embezzlement-suit brought by he and his co-owner wife) to National Basketball Players Association president Chris Paul and NBA All-star and special adviser to the NBPA, Kevin Johnson took to their personal press agents (Twitter) denouncing the comments as “a black eye for the NBA”, “reprehensible” and “unacceptable” and that was just the beginning. Soon NBA stars past and present, politicians, religious leaders, celebrities and of course NBA fans were voicing their disdain for the owner and his repulsive words––effectively calling for his head. Fan boycotts. Player boycotts. The outrage was palpable, it was everywhere and it was growing. Rightly so, for no player (especially an African-American player) wants to play for a racist owner. Nor do they want to be associated with an organization like the LA Clippers or the NBA if they are in any way complicit in blatantly racist bigotry. Right? Neither do a majority of dedicated fans. I assume. Curmudgeon’s face had become the face of these organizations and that image came to represent the worst the NBA had to offer, inciting ill in all who laid eyes upon it. This was bad for everybody, especially the Clipper and NBA organizations and their largest revenue streams of licensing, merchandise and ticket sales.

With the NBA Finals tournament in full swing and the Clippers a serious contender for the championship, the timing couldn’t have been worse. All eyes were on the NBA and NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, was under pressure to take punishing action fast. Swiftly and decisively came the huge fine and the vote by the other NBA owners to force the sale of the team––all sealed with a lifetime ban from NBA ownership. The outrage subsided as if the beloved team and sports were no longer tainted with racist bigotry.

That couldn’t be farther from the truth, leaving one to wonder where has the public outrage over racism in other pro sports organizations been? Only in the last 12-18 months has the issue of the Washington Redskins name made it to a broader public discourse with a handful of public figures speaking out against the name. For the first time, The Federal Trademark Board ruled this year that the Redskins name is “disparaging to Native Americans” and its trademark should no longer be protected. This is the result of a case that has been winding its way through the court system for over 20 years.  Although it applies additional financial and political pressure on current team owner Dan Snyder, the Redskins organization announced it would appeal. The trademark cancellation will be on hold while the appeals case makes its way through the court system, which could take years.

Where is the outrage? Where are the boycotts? NFL? Player’s Union? NFL team owners? Washington Redskins players? FANS?! Is the R-word not racist or hurtful enough to you? Sociologist, Irving Lewis Allen stated that “slang identifiers for ethnic groups based upon physical characteristics are by nature derogatory.” The fact that the overwhelming majority of the public doesn’t think this particular one is derogatory is the mark of a successful genocide. Decades of being bombarded with only these types of images and references to native people has successfully reduced indigenous nations and their descendants to a lower class of existence in the minds of the general public––lower than the animals and fictitious characters native people are depicted along side with as sports mascots. What if the name used a different color and accompanying imagery? Yellow? Black? What might those logos and mascot characterizations look like? Would that be hateful enough to incite your outrage and mobilize the masses? What about the usage of feathers, face paint and other native artifacts? If a team mascot wore priest collars, shook a crucifix and threw Holy water toward the opposing team would the usage of those sacred items be offensive enough to demand a change? Still not moved?

Perhaps you just need to know more about the history of the term “Redskin”. Maybe then you will be repulsed and moved to action. Let’s try.

Historically and generally speaking, a “redskin” is a dead Indian, more specifically the bloody scalp of a dead Indian. Hunting and killing Indians was a lucrative venture in colonial times. Fur traders started using the term “redskin” to refer to the Indian scalps they were selling when the Puritan women who worked in the trading communities complained that “scalp” was offensive. The colonial government paid 20 pounds for scalps of boys and girls under 12 years old, 25 pounds for scalps of women over 12, and a hefty 50 pounds for scalps of males over 12 years – equivalent to $9000 today. Scalps replaced the previous proof of kill - the entire head – because as the heads piled up, the stench of the rotting flesh became too offensive. Now the name was less offensive too. Still not feeling it?

Maybe you will be outraged on behalf of children?

Contrary to popular argument that American Indian mascots honor native people these and other prevalent representations of American Indians actually have a negative affect on native people. A 2008 research paper, “Of Warrior Chiefs and Indian Princesses: The Psychological Consequences of American Indian Mascots,” found that native mascots inflate the self-esteem of non-Natives, while having the opposite effect on Native people. The 2008 research combined the results of 4 studies, from 3 universities and states that, “American Indian mascots are harmful because they remind American Indians of the limited ways others see them and, in this way, constrain how they can see themselves” and further concluded that “exposure to mascot images like Chief Wahoo decreased native youth self-esteem even more than that of stereotypically negative images (such as those depicting alcoholism and homelessness).”

Maybe ire toward the team owner is the deciding difference here. Maybe you just need to despise him (or her––see former Cincinnati Reds owner, Marge Schott). Fine.

The current owner is simply continuing and fighting to preserve the tragic tradition established by the team’s original owner and founder, George Preston Marshall. Marshall was arguably one of the most outwardly racist owners in professional sports, having been identified as the leading racist in the NFL for his uncompromising opposition to having African-Americans on his roster. Not until 1962, sixteen years after the league began signing African-American players and only under an ultimatum issued by Attorney General, Robert Kennedy to either sign an African-American player or loose the 30 year lease on the D.C. stadium, did Marshall sign all-American running back, Ernie Davis. Davis refused to play for “that S.O.B.” and was subsequently sent to Cleveland. Marshall’s legacy also includes the George Preston Marshall Foundation, which serves children in the Washington, DC area. The $6 million he left to fund the foundation had one stipulation: that none of the funding could be used “for any purpose which supports or employs the principle of racial integration.”

That’s quite a long legacy of racial prejudice and yet no outrage. No boycotts. No lifetime bans. No coaches, nor players threatening to quit. Some will argue that a lot of Native Americans don’t find native mascots offensive and will point to a school or university using a native mascot with the blessing of a local tribe or faction. If this is all it takes to dismantle a long tradition of racial injustice, than I’ll show you a NAACP Lifetime Achievement Award with old Curmudgeon’s name on it that he received in 2009 just weeks after being accused of racism and “embracing a vision of a Southern plantation-type structure” in a lawsuit filed by Clipper star, Elgin Baylor.

Where is your outrage? What is the difference that separates these two stories into opposite columns on the “acts of racial injustice to protest” chart? It’s there, shining and sparkling from decades of dedicated polishing like a world champion trophy, the sterling difference - convenience. Apparently, in some cases, it’s just too inconvenient to stop supporting your favorite team, or coaching them, or playing for them or playing against them in protest. Allowing convenience to determine which group of people affected by racism you defend and fight for, only serves to excuse and sustain racism towards another group, a group that one day you may find yourself inconveniently part of.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mom

In 1952, a 13 year old girl, stricken the year before with a disease few knew about called Lupus Erythematosus, lay in coma. Doctors had informed her family that she would not make it through the night. That young girl was my Mom.



She defied doctors that night and beat the odds many times throughout her life. Despite the physical pain and suffering she endured through six hip replacement surgeries, several heart attacks, open heart surgery, countless trips to the Emergency Room and more hospital stays then any one person should ever go through, my Mom loved life. She instilled that love and appreciation for life in all those around her, especially my sister and I. She supported our goals and dreams; and encouraged us to go after them whole-heartedly. Even if that pursuit meant being away from her, as it ultimately did for me. “You can do anything you put your mind to”, she would say.

My Mom and I had a special bond and connection. She was my champion, my confidant, my constant companion, my captive audience and my greatest inspiration. Her faith was unwavering, her compassion unlimited and her love unending. Despite a lifetime riddled with chronic illness, my Mom carried the matriarchal mantle with grace, dignity and beauty - her outer beauty second only to her inner beauty. I was born on Mother's Day - so celebrating together was always a cherished occasion. Even though as a little boy I promised my Mother I would live in the tiny well-house on our farm and never leave her, I left home at 19 to pursue my dream of a career in entertainment. A dream I shared with my Mom many times from as early as I can remember. 

Still, it was a hard choice for me to make; to leave my Mom who had been so sick throughout my entire life. I only realized years later when she and I talked about it, how difficult it was for her too. She cried as soon as I was down the street and many times after. But to me, she was always supportive and encouraging. “You can do anything you put your mind to.”

Every “bye” to my mom had, in my mind, become (potentially) the last one. I was acutely aware of the grim possibility of losing my Mother and that fear stayed with me. Every trip to the hospital, every last visit before some hours-long surgery, every day when I left for school and eventually, every phone call, every visit home and every trip she made to where I was living ended with that possible last goodbye.

In between those last goodbyes I got to share my experiences with Mom. Whenever I would travel, she would say, “look at lots of pretty things for me” and I did. When she visited me in Orlando and Los Angeles we made the best of every minute; always aware of how precious each one was. She saw me dance and sing on stage, appear in movies and on TV, attend the premiere of a film I made and she and my Dad had their Hollywood screen debut in my first short film.

My very first acting job on a feature film was thanks to my Mom. I was living in Orlando when I found out a big Hollywood movie called “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption” would be shooting in my hometown in Ohio. So my Mom took my picture and resume to the casting director’s office. 

We even got a chance to meet a few of Hollywood’s biggest stars together. While taking her on a walk around the Warner Bros. back lot, I spotted a well known director standing with a group of people just outside one of the sound stages. I said, “Mom, don’t look now but, that’s George Clooney standing over there”. She grabbed my arm and said, “well come on let’s go.” Mom chatted with him about being from Kentucky like they had known each other for years.

We lived and celebrated every moment we shared to the fullest. I remember one time we decided we had a craving for birthday cake, but there were no birthdays in sight. So we bought a birthday cake and had “It’s Party Time!” written on it. Life was always worthy of a celebration.

It is for these moments and many more that I am so grateful for my Mom and all that she gave as a Mother and Grandmother. I am thankful for the time my daughter, Mayan had with her too.

My Mom never asked for sympathy and never wanted us to be afraid for her or worry. Even at her sickest she was concerned about us and our wellbeing. I would tell her, "I'm praying for you, Mom." "I'm praying for you too, baby", she would say.

On March 2nd, four days before her 75th birthday, I said the final last good-bye to my beautiful and beloved Mother.  Today it has been 75 days since she passed away, February 25th. Every day since, I have been overcome with emotion and grief, often without provocation or warning. Anyone who knows me well enough will likely not be surprised by this. Though I have intended to share more about my Mom since her passing, until today-our special day, I couldn’t face the emotions and difficulty required to do so. It has been a hard couple of months, but “You can do anything you put your mind to”. 

I love you Mom with all of my heart and soul. Thank you for being my Mom, for inspiring me, for loving me and for teaching me by example. May you finally have the Peace and eternal happiness you deserve.



Monday, July 1, 2013

Too Late

Too close to be friends
Too far to be lovers
Just as it begins
Divide widens, it's over

Just as you planned
No need for regret
A single grain of sand
On a beach of circumspect

Let go. Let free.
Let it be me
Unleashed to be
All that you seek

Conditioned to believe
Incensed - you so cavalier
Impassioned with grieve
Wanting you near

Fading trysts of night
Shattered by deceit
The will to stay and fight
Shackled by defeat

Your wants to expound upon
Your course to navigate
Your time to finally move on
Before it's too late

Monday, June 24, 2013

Just felt like sharing...

Is It For Now Or For Always
by Phillip Larkin

Is it for now or for always,
The world hangs on a stalk?
Is it a trick or trysting place,
The woods we have found to walk?

Is it a mirage or miracle,
Your lips that lift at mine:
And the suns like a juggler's juggling-balls,
Are they a sham or a sign?

Shine out, my sudden angel,
Break fear with breast and brow,
I take you now and for always,
For always is always now.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

The Worst Part

The small window of time with Mayan I was able to wrestle away from the grips of one's insecurity and desire to win a battle, today, on Father's Day, flew by. Seems every minute with Mayan does. Why should three hours be any different? Now I face the grim reality of not seeing her again for two weeks. I commence a series of business trips tomorrow that will ultimately bring me to New York, where I will meet Mayan and her mother as they arrive from their trip to Toronto which begins Tuesday. Mayan and I will spend a few days in NY before heading to Ohio on July 2nd. Though I will have plenty on my plate over the next couple of weeks it doesn't change how much I will miss seeing her and hugging her. It's that simple. I'm happy and grateful that she gets all of this life experience with visiting her cousins and grandparents in Toronto and getting to see one of her good friends who moved to New Jersey. But, I despise this part - the worst part of being a divorced parent; having to be away from your child.

Father's Day

"A man's children and his garden are both a reflection of the amount of weeding he has done during the growing season."  -unknown

I have never known a greater joy than being the father of this wonderful little girl. She is the love of my life and the cause of my proudest moments. Thank you Mayan Jade for making every day a Happy Father's Day. I love you, "Bug".

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Warning: Radical Riffs To Come

The block is broken. I am writing. It has been far too long since I have put my thoughts into written word. No screenplays. No poems (not even the fridge magnet kind). No journal entries. Even birthday cards suffered the void of original thought. The reasons for this unintentional sabbatical shall most likely be explored in the pixels of this very tableau. Never-the-less, the silence, the hiding, the suppressing all ended in this moment. I'm not sure this is the proper forum to begin, but I must start somewhere and here I am. You have been warned.