Mom

In 1952, a 13 year old girl, stricken the year before with a disease few knew about called Lupus Erythematosus, lay in coma. Doctors had informed her family that she would not make it through the night. That young girl was my Mom.

She defied doctors that night and beat the odds many times throughout her life. Despite the physical pain and suffering she endured through six hip replacement surgeries, several heart attacks, open heart surgery, countless trips to the Emergency Room and more hospital stays then any one person should ever go through, my Mom loved life. She instilled that love and appreciation for life in all those around her, especially my sister and I. She supported our goals and dreams; and encouraged us to go after them whole-heartedly. Even if that pursuit meant being away from her, as it ultimately did for me. “You can do anything you put your mind to”, she would say.

My Mom and I had a special bond and connection. She was my champion, my confidant, my constant companion, my captive audience and my greatest inspiration. Her faith was unwavering, her compassion unlimited and her love unending. Despite a lifetime riddled with chronic illness, my Mom carried the matriarchal mantle with grace, dignity and beauty - her outer beauty second only to her inner beauty. I was born on Mother's Day - so celebrating together was always a cherished occasion. Even though as a little boy I promised my Mother I would live in the tiny well-house on our farm and never leave her, I left home at 19 to pursue my dream of a career in entertainment. A dream I shared with my Mom many times from as early as I can remember. 

Still, it was a hard choice for me to make; to leave my Mom who had been so sick throughout my entire life. I only realized years later when she and I talked about it, how difficult it was for her too. She cried as soon as I was down the street and many times after. But to me, she was always supportive and encouraging. “You can do anything you put your mind to.”

Every “bye” to my mom had, in my mind, become (potentially) the last one. I was acutely aware of the grim possibility of losing my Mother and that fear stayed with me. Every trip to the hospital, every last visit before some hours-long surgery, every day when I left for school and eventually, every phone call, every visit home and every trip she made to where I was living ended with that possible last goodbye.

In between those last goodbyes I got to share my experiences with Mom. Whenever I would travel, she would say, “look at lots of pretty things for me” and I did. When she visited me in Orlando and Los Angeles we made the best of every minute; always aware of how precious each one was. She saw me dance and sing on stage, appear in movies and on TV, attend the premiere of a film I made and she and my Dad had their Hollywood screen debut in my first short film.

My very first acting job on a feature film was thanks to my Mom. I was living in Orlando when I found out a big Hollywood movie called “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption” would be shooting in my hometown in Ohio. So my Mom took my picture and resume to the casting director’s office. 

We even got a chance to meet a few of Hollywood’s biggest stars together. While taking her on a walk around the Warner Bros. back lot, I spotted a well known director standing with a group of people just outside one of the sound stages. I said, “Mom, don’t look now but, that’s George Clooney standing over there”. She grabbed my arm and said, “well come on let’s go.” Mom chatted with him about being from Kentucky like they had known each other for years.

We lived and celebrated every moment we shared to the fullest. I remember one time we decided we had a craving for birthday cake, but there were no birthdays in sight. So we bought a birthday cake and had “It’s Party Time!” written on it. Life was always worthy of a celebration.

It is for these moments and many more that I am so grateful for my Mom and all that she gave as a Mother and Grandmother. I am thankful for the time my daughter, Mayan had with her too.

My Mom never asked for sympathy and never wanted us to be afraid for her or worry. Even at her sickest she was concerned about us and our wellbeing. I would tell her, "I'm praying for you, Mom." "I'm praying for you too, baby", she would say.

On March 2^nd, four days before her 75^th birthday, I said the final last good-bye to my beautiful and beloved Mother.  Today it has been 75 days since she passed away, February 25th. Every day since, I have been overcome with emotion and grief, often without provocation or warning. Anyone who knows me well enough will likely not be surprised by this. Though I have intended to share more about my Mom since her passing, until today-our special day, I couldn’t face the emotions and difficulty required to do so. It has been a hard couple of months, but “You can do anything you put your mind to”. 

I love you Mom with all of my heart and soul. Thank you for being my Mom, for inspiring me, for loving me and for teaching me by example. May you finally have the Peace and eternal happiness you deserve.